Emotional Deadline

Image from Google.

We all have deadlines in our life, some professional ones and some emotional ones. Sometimes I feel it's easy to recover from professional deadlines but it's much more easier to ignore emotional deadlines.

I have a deadline for everything in my mind. Not because I am very organised, you'll just know how sloppy I am looking at my room. I have a deadline for university work, a deadline that warns me that I only have 10 cigarettes left and I need to buy more, a deadline for food, friends, men ...basically everything.

Right now I am dealing with an emotional deadline, it ends very soon and believe me it's a silly little thing, as silly as a needle that pricks me every time I try to deviate my mind. This certain someone who needs me reply me back soon or else my ego will take over me until I just can't hold my patience and put that someone's name under 'fail' list.

The thing is I can't blame on anyone but myself in these situations. In the end I am the one who is expecting something, and we all know what wise people say 'expectations is a key to a very sad life'.

But can people actually live without expectations? Even though my cosmic knowledge of things tells me that time is now, and now is all that ever is, was and will be, why do I expect things to happen? If my friends was going through the same thing I would give them some profound advice like 'you can't control someone else's action' or 'what will happen will happen' and all that is true.

It's also true that I cannot stop thinking about it, it's frustrating and I want it to happen now!

And since this person has no clue I have a deadline, it won't affect their behaviour. In time I will ignore my emotional deadline and with the leftover of hope I will set a new deadline. And so the loop goes on and on....even when I know better, it never stops.